Am I avoiding it? I am avoiding it. I'm avoiding the time it's going to take to go through the relationships and find the patterns. I feel like I need to complete the Level 3 homework from Day 8 to bring any meaning to Day 11.I read Miss*R's post and she talks about feeling like she is not contributing to the process enough or thinking of the affirmations enough and I totally hear that! I too have felt disconnected from the process from time to time. But I do have hope. Hope that even reading the affirmations once the night before, once the morning of, and once while I do my nightly post is enough. Hope that to even be engaged with this process will bring some change and enlightenment. And so I am not defeated I know something will come from this, God willing.
I don't know so much about what patterns I exhibit in relationships. What I do know is that I've had people react to me in similar ways over the years. "Your pushy and very aggressive" that kind of feedback. Yes, not nice and not nice to hear time and again. I've dealt with that the last 18 months or so. I worked hard to understand how I communicate and I've changed the way I approach things. The more passionate side of me comes out a little at a time and I've developed better empathy skills and overall I feel like that pattern in broken.
My learning for the day - for the week so far?
I've not had an emotional week because I haven't delved into the hard stuff, the detailed journaling, the noting of how it would feel and all that. I feel like it needs to be done. I don't feel ready to do it. I do know where to find it. In Day 8, Level 3 and in Day 11. I can come back to this, in time, when I'm ready and that's great!
Ah, that feels good.
I am loved and lovable. I love deeply and fully, and I am loved deeply and fully.
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