Secret 7
One things that leaves me a little confused is in the beginning she speaks of the myth of how people think you need to grow up in an artsy and inspiring environment to live a rich and creative life. then in her example in "Reading about Inspiring Lives" she speaks only of incredible creative women who were brought up in rich and creative lives. That bugged me.
My Creative Heritage
My family is creative, they most all know how to draw and paint. I never really go into it. Was I discouraged? No, I don't think so. I think I'm creative with ideas and words, not images and paper.
My home life most certainly built my confidence. My confidence is strong and vibrant and bright. I can only think that this comes from building confidence in my early years, not destroying it.
The legacy of women in my family is amazing. Independent, strong, beautiful, self-knowing and self-loving. The women in my family inspire and support creative courage in themselves, in each other and in everyone's whose lives they touch.
Guidance Life Review
Two women stick out in my mind. Both about 15-20 years older than me. So, not old enough to be my Mom's age but old enough. Marcia taught me how to network. How to reach out to others in an authentic and genuine way so I could get to know the world better. And Susan spoke words to me that I often repeat to myself "this to shall pass". Words to live by.
Guides were prevalent in my life through my 20s and early 30s. but, in the last 10 years or so, from about 35 to 45 years old not so much. So I did something about it. Jamie has been my coach and the guide that helps me to find the inspiration in my life for almost two years now. She is honest and open and as my guide she is committed to my growth and my healing. And I have a new guide. Laury is an incredible spiritual guide and I look forward to our time together every week.
Identifying My Stylistic Needs
I need an open mind to be honest, not brutally honest, not painfully honest, just honest. To coach me, to advise me, to guide my thoughts to empowerment, not self defeat and to give me perspective. To show me another dimension that I may not be seeing.
Guiding Others
The nature of my work is to guide others. I love it. I feel useful and this talent that I've been blessed with is shared. My creative spirit also created a safe and wonderful networking event for women to celebrate the accomplishment of women, it is called AWEsome. The next event is on March 25, 2009 in Toronto and I invite you come. Email me at romana[DOT]mirza[AT]gmail[DOT]com and I'll send you an invitation. Let me know you are from the TNC book blogging group!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Conquering Saboteurs
Secret Six
I never pursued creative endeavours through school and I can't think of any particular creative endeavour that was sabotaged. I did have a sabotage experience with athletics and so many of the lessons I'm learning here and my frame of reference for this secret is around, let's say, my athletic creativity. The early sabotage was when I made the field hockey team in Grade 10, at 15 years old and was told by my parents that academics was way more important. From that point forward I lost my passion for athletics. I really lost it. I didn't become disinterested it got lost. I feel very sad about it.
There were a few things in this secret that really stood out for me.
Fake it until you make it.
Amen. It's actually not totally faking it in the negative sense of the word. This kind of faking it to me is more like this: have confidence in yourself as you move forward and forge ahead to do it - whatever it is.
So often, teachers don't even realize that their admonishments and criticisms rob a child of the courage to be original and take risks with her ideas.
For me the word teachers can also be replace by parents. I love this statement. Realize and remind all the teachers and parents in your life to always encourage and nurture courage. I have an abundant amount of it and I don't now if it was nurtured or its just a blessing from God that keeps giving. I don't know but I can tell you I am forever grateful for this strength.
"I think it's important to become deeply rooted in who you are, so that when you hear what other people say about your work, you are really listening, not just being defensive. Then you can go home and you can say, that was a mismatch, or I can let that comment roll of my back or that really hurt or gosh, they're right." - Carmella Yager
Amen to that too! What more can I say? Know who you are. I am so incredibly grateful for my pilgrimage to Mecca. What I was left with is one confident, courageous soul. How divine.
I never pursued creative endeavours through school and I can't think of any particular creative endeavour that was sabotaged. I did have a sabotage experience with athletics and so many of the lessons I'm learning here and my frame of reference for this secret is around, let's say, my athletic creativity. The early sabotage was when I made the field hockey team in Grade 10, at 15 years old and was told by my parents that academics was way more important. From that point forward I lost my passion for athletics. I really lost it. I didn't become disinterested it got lost. I feel very sad about it.
There were a few things in this secret that really stood out for me.
Fake it until you make it.
Amen. It's actually not totally faking it in the negative sense of the word. This kind of faking it to me is more like this: have confidence in yourself as you move forward and forge ahead to do it - whatever it is.
So often, teachers don't even realize that their admonishments and criticisms rob a child of the courage to be original and take risks with her ideas.
For me the word teachers can also be replace by parents. I love this statement. Realize and remind all the teachers and parents in your life to always encourage and nurture courage. I have an abundant amount of it and I don't now if it was nurtured or its just a blessing from God that keeps giving. I don't know but I can tell you I am forever grateful for this strength.
"I think it's important to become deeply rooted in who you are, so that when you hear what other people say about your work, you are really listening, not just being defensive. Then you can go home and you can say, that was a mismatch, or I can let that comment roll of my back or that really hurt or gosh, they're right." - Carmella Yager
Amen to that too! What more can I say? Know who you are. I am so incredibly grateful for my pilgrimage to Mecca. What I was left with is one confident, courageous soul. How divine.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Committing to Self-Focus
Secret Five
This one was tough! I'm actually not even burdened with the challenges so many women have. I am not married, I don't have children. With that alone, I alone own my time and I wonder why this chapter was so difficult to get through. Perhaps it was because of having to reflect on early childhood learnings: What did you learn about being selfish as a child? What did your mother teach you about your role as a woman? How do you distinguish a self-focused women from a narcissistic woman?
Well, let's start from the top, shall we?
As I child I learned that being selfish was not nice. I also learned that being selfish got me what I wanted. I remember several several pouting episodes locked up in my room, sobbing because I didn't get what I wanted. I don't ever remember those episodes yielding me what I wanted but I imagine there was some benefit...why would I do that over and over again, unless of course I did genuinely feel hurt and I do remember that it was at times I was genuinely feeling unloved or unwanted in some way....hmmm it's a very fuzzy memory.
My mother didn't intentionally teach me anything about my role as a woman, other than living her life. And, in her I saw a stellar homemaker, a woman who never made a decision completely on her own (that really bugged me as she always deferred to the closest man present, uggh!!!) and a career woman, a woman who in her 40s went back to school so she could begin a successful and celebrated 20-year career as a teacher once her children had grown up. Wow, that was cool. Hmmm, I' m wondering if the "deferring decisions to the closest guy around-thing" irritated me so much that it's taken me this long to learn how to really share in decisions with a partner. I'm struggling with knowing whether I want or need love. Perhaps there is something in here.
The way I distinguish a self-focused woman from a narcissistic woman is that I don't. I don't know what that means. I know plenty of designer fashion wearing, money spending women who have families and volunteer with charities. I know plenty of women who focus on "self" and genuine personal growth and don't contribute much to society or drain the heck out of everyone around them. Well, maybe that the answer. A self focused woman is one who works to contributes something beautiful to herself and in that to her surroundings, like her art, or her time or her good mood because she is taking care of herself and a narcissistic woman is one who drains.
The last part of this secret that really spoke to me was this question: Think of other women you know that you could support by offering to help them commit to their creativity. There is a very special woman in my life who is an intensely creative soul and I am going to reach out to find out how I can help to support her creativity. Like the book says: I could babysit for her, attend classes with her, or simply talk with her about her work and her goals. I will learn more about myself in the process.
Beautiful.
This one was tough! I'm actually not even burdened with the challenges so many women have. I am not married, I don't have children. With that alone, I alone own my time and I wonder why this chapter was so difficult to get through. Perhaps it was because of having to reflect on early childhood learnings: What did you learn about being selfish as a child? What did your mother teach you about your role as a woman? How do you distinguish a self-focused women from a narcissistic woman?
Well, let's start from the top, shall we?
As I child I learned that being selfish was not nice. I also learned that being selfish got me what I wanted. I remember several several pouting episodes locked up in my room, sobbing because I didn't get what I wanted. I don't ever remember those episodes yielding me what I wanted but I imagine there was some benefit...why would I do that over and over again, unless of course I did genuinely feel hurt and I do remember that it was at times I was genuinely feeling unloved or unwanted in some way....hmmm it's a very fuzzy memory.
My mother didn't intentionally teach me anything about my role as a woman, other than living her life. And, in her I saw a stellar homemaker, a woman who never made a decision completely on her own (that really bugged me as she always deferred to the closest man present, uggh!!!) and a career woman, a woman who in her 40s went back to school so she could begin a successful and celebrated 20-year career as a teacher once her children had grown up. Wow, that was cool. Hmmm, I' m wondering if the "deferring decisions to the closest guy around-thing" irritated me so much that it's taken me this long to learn how to really share in decisions with a partner. I'm struggling with knowing whether I want or need love. Perhaps there is something in here.
The way I distinguish a self-focused woman from a narcissistic woman is that I don't. I don't know what that means. I know plenty of designer fashion wearing, money spending women who have families and volunteer with charities. I know plenty of women who focus on "self" and genuine personal growth and don't contribute much to society or drain the heck out of everyone around them. Well, maybe that the answer. A self focused woman is one who works to contributes something beautiful to herself and in that to her surroundings, like her art, or her time or her good mood because she is taking care of herself and a narcissistic woman is one who drains.
The last part of this secret that really spoke to me was this question: Think of other women you know that you could support by offering to help them commit to their creativity. There is a very special woman in my life who is an intensely creative soul and I am going to reach out to find out how I can help to support her creativity. Like the book says: I could babysit for her, attend classes with her, or simply talk with her about her work and her goals. I will learn more about myself in the process.
Beautiful.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Surrendering to Creative Cycles II
Secret Four II
I was responding to a couple of questions from my coach today and when I responded I wrote:
"Romana the Visionary has come to learn too that vision comes sometimes through darkness and frustrations and sometimes through lightness and ease."
Perhaps this wisdom came from this secret or it was there all along - whatever and wherever I'm so glad it showed up for me!
I was responding to a couple of questions from my coach today and when I responded I wrote:
"Romana the Visionary has come to learn too that vision comes sometimes through darkness and frustrations and sometimes through lightness and ease."
Perhaps this wisdom came from this secret or it was there all along - whatever and wherever I'm so glad it showed up for me!
Surrendering to Creative Cycles
Secret Four
As I reviewed the Secret 4 chapter once more to try and figure out what I was going to write I came to realize this. I never looked at my work, my profession, as being my creative work. So, in trying to answer the questions in the challenges I was stumped. "How could I address a block in creative process when I've never engaged in a creative process?"
And then, it hit me. Not like a ton of bricks but more like the Simpson's "Duh"!
ALL MY WORK IS CREATIVE. Yes, yes, I'm a business strategist and I help CEOs reorganize their companies and their brands, I restructure and support leadership teams and guess what - that takes a TON of creative thinking and a very creative approach. Eureka! I'm a creative!
I think I kinda already new all this - afterall I did call my company Studio Pinpoint but I think this realization has been hiding just under the surface.
So, here are some answers to some random questions that really piqued my curiosity.
Have you ever felt stuck and lost?
Oh yeah baby!
How did you handle it?
I changed my life. I seem to change EVERYTHING in my life every 2-3 years. So here's a little example of only two elements in my life, residence and work:
2007-present: Living in Toronto at home with my parents, working for myself
2005-2007: Living in Iowa in my own home, working for a BIG company
2003-2005: Living in Toronto in my own condo, working for a medium size company
2001-2003: Living in Toronto at home with my parents, working for the same company
What have been the important catalysts that moved you into the next cycle?
A feeling of being trapped and not growing or being challenged mentally or emotionally.
What discomfort are you willing to endure to promote and experience your passion?
I am willing to endure the discomfort of nervousness that comes from uncertainty. I have been brave and strong and welcomed many changes into my life but they have always come with a big strong safety net in the form of a big salary or total and complete support of my family - or both! This time it's different. I move back into my condo with a business that earns irregular income and leave any big safety net that I have now behind. I am willing to endure the discomfort of nervousness that comes from uncertainty!
Do you feel exhilarated by your creative work right now?
OMG, yes yes yes yes yes yes. My work moves me. It's the best!
What are your specific fears about yourself and your work?
On a regular basis try new things and see what comes up for you. Amen sister I'm going to!
As I reviewed the Secret 4 chapter once more to try and figure out what I was going to write I came to realize this. I never looked at my work, my profession, as being my creative work. So, in trying to answer the questions in the challenges I was stumped. "How could I address a block in creative process when I've never engaged in a creative process?"
And then, it hit me. Not like a ton of bricks but more like the Simpson's "Duh"!
ALL MY WORK IS CREATIVE. Yes, yes, I'm a business strategist and I help CEOs reorganize their companies and their brands, I restructure and support leadership teams and guess what - that takes a TON of creative thinking and a very creative approach. Eureka! I'm a creative!
I think I kinda already new all this - afterall I did call my company Studio Pinpoint but I think this realization has been hiding just under the surface.
So, here are some answers to some random questions that really piqued my curiosity.
Have you ever felt stuck and lost?
Oh yeah baby!
How did you handle it?
I changed my life. I seem to change EVERYTHING in my life every 2-3 years. So here's a little example of only two elements in my life, residence and work:
2007-present: Living in Toronto at home with my parents, working for myself
2005-2007: Living in Iowa in my own home, working for a BIG company
2003-2005: Living in Toronto in my own condo, working for a medium size company
2001-2003: Living in Toronto at home with my parents, working for the same company
What have been the important catalysts that moved you into the next cycle?
A feeling of being trapped and not growing or being challenged mentally or emotionally.
What discomfort are you willing to endure to promote and experience your passion?
I am willing to endure the discomfort of nervousness that comes from uncertainty. I have been brave and strong and welcomed many changes into my life but they have always come with a big strong safety net in the form of a big salary or total and complete support of my family - or both! This time it's different. I move back into my condo with a business that earns irregular income and leave any big safety net that I have now behind. I am willing to endure the discomfort of nervousness that comes from uncertainty!
Do you feel exhilarated by your creative work right now?
OMG, yes yes yes yes yes yes. My work moves me. It's the best!
What are your specific fears about yourself and your work?
- I will choose the wrong focus for my time and efforts
- no fears about my work, it is authentic and true.
- I will make a wrong judgment call - although now that I've typed this I've realized that even wrong judgment calls are good, sometimes you reach the top from the bottom!
On a regular basis try new things and see what comes up for you. Amen sister I'm going to!
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