Wreck this Journal 3.3

Dirt - from the Magnificent Mile aka Michigan Avenue in Chicago - the flower planters are forever with me...along with my breakfast, see below!!!

THIS is how I wore my journal about town in the Windy City. Check out the TRUMP Tower - it's quite magnificent.

So I decided to share my breakfast - scrambled eggs and pancakes at Weber's grill, mmmmmm.

oh, and the torn out piece, that's the piece I used as a napkin, that didn't work so well.

Wreck this Journal Week 3.2

This is waiting to get washed!

My scent of choice....Liquid Smudge - how divine!

not bad...

...toss it and forget it - at the Hilton in Chicago!

Wreck this Journal Week 3.1

Yeah Baby!

Wreck this Journal Week 2

icky watery glue from the dollar store, yuck - why do you buy that stuff Mom!

Yup, I do the laundry for Mom and Dad, my laundry-in-motion lines below

Danu's Fish

Selecting Empowering Partnerships and Alliances

Secret 8
Assessing your collaborative potential? Well, I have one thing to say. StrengthsFinder 2.0. It is the simplest and best way of identifying your strengths. This will reveal VOLUMES to you about you and how best to approach partnerships and alliances. I LOVE it.

Choosing the Right People
In my work as a brand strategist I help people understand who they are, as a company, defining their value system and their culture. This tells them their brand. When they know who they are - their brand, then they know what and who is on and off brand. Know who you are.

Overall, I'm not a good collaborator. My strengths are: Futuristic, Responsible, Activator, Command, and Maximizer.

Watch out the Army is Coming!!!

I see the future, in an instant and I get there. I take full responsibilty for all the work I need to do to get there and I make that work happen. Period. I take control of it and I maximize every aspect of the effort put in.

There are many many team-oriented strengths like Empathy, Includer and several others - I'm not that person.

Ahh, I know me. I know who I am and I don't partner well. Now, ask me to be on your team and take command of something on it and lead the charge, you will NEVER be dissappointed. Guaranteed.

I love that.

You know, I feel so powerful and strong, and happy when I think about this and realize it. I have so little mental roadblocks.

Then...I think, hmmm, am I really insecure about something and so I'm puffing up my chest like this to hide that? Perhaps. Neat, something to explore now.

And the other thing that comes to mind for me is...hmmm, I wonder if this realization for me is a really good way of avoiding a relationship...and if it is then is that good or bad? Another something to ponder, nice. Love ya TNC!

balanced graceful gently joy and spirit

Today I complete my 45th year of life and I celebrate, quietly, contemplatively.

The wisdom of my years makes me happy and provides inner peace.

The mistakes of my past hold together the strong foundation upon which I have built this life.

This stability supports a vision for the future that is fully aware and mortal.

This awareness brings peace and tranquility in present moments.

This tranquility contributes to a richer life lived more fully and in the presence of God.

Not the universe. God.

Religiosity and spirituality are not different for me they are one.
I enter now Part II balanced, graceful and gently, in the presence of God with much joy and spirit.

May God bless me, guide me, and may He lead me along the path intended for me, the path that contributes and gives from the blessings he continually, unconditionally showers upon me each day. Ameen.

With much joy and spirit
Forever Yours,
Romana

Consulting with Guides

Secret 7
One things that leaves me a little confused is in the beginning she speaks of the myth of how people think you need to grow up in an artsy and inspiring environment to live a rich and creative life. then in her example in "Reading about Inspiring Lives" she speaks only of incredible creative women who were brought up in rich and creative lives. That bugged me.
My Creative Heritage
My family is creative, they most all know how to draw and paint. I never really go into it. Was I discouraged? No, I don't think so. I think I'm creative with ideas and words, not images and paper.
My home life most certainly built my confidence. My confidence is strong and vibrant and bright. I can only think that this comes from building confidence in my early years, not destroying it.
The legacy of women in my family is amazing. Independent, strong, beautiful, self-knowing and self-loving. The women in my family inspire and support creative courage in themselves, in each other and in everyone's whose lives they touch.
Guidance Life Review
Two women stick out in my mind. Both about 15-20 years older than me. So, not old enough to be my Mom's age but old enough. Marcia taught me how to network. How to reach out to others in an authentic and genuine way so I could get to know the world better. And Susan spoke words to me that I often repeat to myself "this to shall pass". Words to live by.
Guides were prevalent in my life through my 20s and early 30s. but, in the last 10 years or so, from about 35 to 45 years old not so much. So I did something about it. Jamie has been my coach and the guide that helps me to find the inspiration in my life for almost two years now. She is honest and open and as my guide she is committed to my growth and my healing. And I have a new guide. Laury is an incredible spiritual guide and I look forward to our time together every week.
Identifying My Stylistic Needs
I need an open mind to be honest, not brutally honest, not painfully honest, just honest. To coach me, to advise me, to guide my thoughts to empowerment, not self defeat and to give me perspective. To show me another dimension that I may not be seeing.
Guiding Others
The nature of my work is to guide others. I love it. I feel useful and this talent that I've been blessed with is shared. My creative spirit also created a safe and wonderful networking event for women to celebrate the accomplishment of women, it is called AWEsome. The next event is on March 25, 2009 in Toronto and I invite you come. Email me at romana[DOT]mirza[AT]gmail[DOT]com and I'll send you an invitation. Let me know you are from the TNC book blogging group!

Conquering Saboteurs

Secret Six
I never pursued creative endeavours through school and I can't think of any particular creative endeavour that was sabotaged. I did have a sabotage experience with athletics and so many of the lessons I'm learning here and my frame of reference for this secret is around, let's say, my athletic creativity. The early sabotage was when I made the field hockey team in Grade 10, at 15 years old and was told by my parents that academics was way more important. From that point forward I lost my passion for athletics. I really lost it. I didn't become disinterested it got lost. I feel very sad about it.

There were a few things in this secret that really stood out for me.

Fake it until you make it.
Amen. It's actually not totally faking it in the negative sense of the word. This kind of faking it to me is more like this: have confidence in yourself as you move forward and forge ahead to do it - whatever it is.

So often, teachers don't even realize that their admonishments and criticisms rob a child of the courage to be original and take risks with her ideas.
For me the word teachers can also be replace by parents. I love this statement. Realize and remind all the teachers and parents in your life to always encourage and nurture courage. I have an abundant amount of it and I don't now if it was nurtured or its just a blessing from God that keeps giving. I don't know but I can tell you I am forever grateful for this strength.

"I think it's important to become deeply rooted in who you are, so that when you hear what other people say about your work, you are really listening, not just being defensive. Then you can go home and you can say, that was a mismatch, or I can let that comment roll of my back or that really hurt or gosh, they're right." - Carmella Yager
Amen to that too! What more can I say? Know who you are. I am so incredibly grateful for my pilgrimage to Mecca. What I was left with is one confident, courageous soul. How divine.

Committing to Self-Focus

Secret Five
This one was tough! I'm actually not even burdened with the challenges so many women have. I am not married, I don't have children. With that alone, I alone own my time and I wonder why this chapter was so difficult to get through. Perhaps it was because of having to reflect on early childhood learnings: What did you learn about being selfish as a child? What did your mother teach you about your role as a woman? How do you distinguish a self-focused women from a narcissistic woman?

Well, let's start from the top, shall we?

As I child I learned that being selfish was not nice. I also learned that being selfish got me what I wanted. I remember several several pouting episodes locked up in my room, sobbing because I didn't get what I wanted. I don't ever remember those episodes yielding me what I wanted but I imagine there was some benefit...why would I do that over and over again, unless of course I did genuinely feel hurt and I do remember that it was at times I was genuinely feeling unloved or unwanted in some way....hmmm it's a very fuzzy memory.

My mother didn't intentionally teach me anything about my role as a woman, other than living her life. And, in her I saw a stellar homemaker, a woman who never made a decision completely on her own (that really bugged me as she always deferred to the closest man present, uggh!!!) and a career woman, a woman who in her 40s went back to school so she could begin a successful and celebrated 20-year career as a teacher once her children had grown up. Wow, that was cool. Hmmm, I' m wondering if the "deferring decisions to the closest guy around-thing" irritated me so much that it's taken me this long to learn how to really share in decisions with a partner. I'm struggling with knowing whether I want or need love. Perhaps there is something in here.

The way I distinguish a self-focused woman from a narcissistic woman is that I don't. I don't know what that means. I know plenty of designer fashion wearing, money spending women who have families and volunteer with charities. I know plenty of women who focus on "self" and genuine personal growth and don't contribute much to society or drain the heck out of everyone around them. Well, maybe that the answer. A self focused woman is one who works to contributes something beautiful to herself and in that to her surroundings, like her art, or her time or her good mood because she is taking care of herself and a narcissistic woman is one who drains.

The last part of this secret that really spoke to me was this question: Think of other women you know that you could support by offering to help them commit to their creativity. There is a very special woman in my life who is an intensely creative soul and I am going to reach out to find out how I can help to support her creativity. Like the book says: I could babysit for her, attend classes with her, or simply talk with her about her work and her goals. I will learn more about myself in the process.

Beautiful.

Vision 2009

Thank you, Jamie Ridler, for the opportunity to release all that was within me! Enjoy.

Surrendering to Creative Cycles II

Secret Four II
I was responding to a couple of questions from my coach today and when I responded I wrote:

"Romana the Visionary has come to learn too that vision comes sometimes through darkness and frustrations and sometimes through lightness and ease."

Perhaps this wisdom came from this secret or it was there all along - whatever and wherever I'm so glad it showed up for me!

Surrendering to Creative Cycles

Secret Four
As I reviewed the Secret 4 chapter once more to try and figure out what I was going to write I came to realize this. I never looked at my work, my profession, as being my creative work. So, in trying to answer the questions in the challenges I was stumped. "How could I address a block in creative process when I've never engaged in a creative process?"

And then, it hit me. Not like a ton of bricks but more like the Simpson's "Duh"!

ALL MY WORK IS CREATIVE. Yes, yes, I'm a business strategist and I help CEOs reorganize their companies and their brands, I restructure and support leadership teams and guess what - that takes a TON of creative thinking and a very creative approach. Eureka! I'm a creative!

I think I kinda already new all this - afterall I did call my company Studio Pinpoint but I think this realization has been hiding just under the surface.

So, here are some answers to some random questions that really piqued my curiosity.

Have you ever felt stuck and lost?
Oh yeah baby!

How did you handle it?
I changed my life. I seem to change EVERYTHING in my life every 2-3 years. So here's a little example of only two elements in my life, residence and work:
2007-present: Living in Toronto at home with my parents, working for myself
2005-2007: Living in Iowa in my own home, working for a BIG company
2003-2005: Living in Toronto in my own condo, working for a medium size company
2001-2003: Living in Toronto at home with my parents, working for the same company

What have been the important catalysts that moved you into the next cycle?
A feeling of being trapped and not growing or being challenged mentally or emotionally.

What discomfort are you willing to endure to promote and experience your passion?
I am willing to endure the discomfort of nervousness that comes from uncertainty. I have been brave and strong and welcomed many changes into my life but they have always come with a big strong safety net in the form of a big salary or total and complete support of my family - or both! This time it's different. I move back into my condo with a business that earns irregular income and leave any big safety net that I have now behind. I am willing to endure the discomfort of nervousness that comes from uncertainty!

Do you feel exhilarated by your creative work right now?
OMG, yes yes yes yes yes yes. My work moves me. It's the best!

What are your specific fears about yourself and your work?

• I will choose the wrong focus for my time and efforts
  
• no fears about my work, it is authentic and true.
• I will make a wrong judgment call - although now that I've typed this I've realized that even wrong judgment calls are good, sometimes you reach the top from the bottom!

Ah, I'm not that fearful!

On a regular basis try new things and see what comes up for you. Amen sister I'm going to!

Following Your Fascinations

Secret Three
I loved the conversation in this secret and many of the questions in the challenges were interesting to me. So here it goes a somewhat random selection of questions and the answer to it!

What did you learn from your mother and other women about limiting your self expression? I learned a lot! While in a very bad emotionally and mentally abusive marriage my mother supported me like no other. She advised me, very smartly to limit my self expression and when everything finally ended and he walked out, I was left with knowing with all my mind and my heart that it was NOT because of me. I knew that through it all I had supported his mentally deranged ways and there was no way I could blame myself by the end of the marriage - rather I celebrated it! My mother and other women in my life also support my natural tendency to never limit my self expression. It's been a blessed life of getting my mind, my thoughts, my feelings and my ideas out into the world.

How does your Inner Patriarch's voice hold you back from taking risks or following through on your creativity? It does not.

In what ways have you devalued the feminine in yourself and other women? I have only done that when I have lost sight of my values and what I believe in. It hasn't happened often and I hope it never happens again.

How does limited thinking and/or the fear of being wrong or looking foolish short-circuit your creative goals? This kind of thinking and fear is born out of insecurity. When I am insecure it limits my creativity. When I am empowered by believing in myself my creativity flourishes.

What skills or philosophy helped you stay committed to your fascination despite obstacles? My positive orientation. Far and above anything else my God-given talent to always see the silver lining. I've been blessed with the incredible gift and I am very grateful for it.

Creative Style Inventory

Secret Two I just joined in, so if you have a moment, please visit my first post here, it was late!

I'm starting with the last challenge first - now that's creative. Well, it is totally creative for me. See, I am very constructive. Spreadsheets, schedules, tasks and to dos. I love it all - so the last first is creative!

1. My creative reawakening occurred when I decided to become an entrepreneur and launch a business that was going to challenge the way business is done today and dare simply: to change.

2. My natural talents are: seeing a vision for the future. My God-given talent of always having a positive orientation toward anything. My fearlessness. My emotional strength. My physical strength.

3. Earth grounds me and water revives my imagination and creativity.

4. I create in my home office, while I'm driving and on summer days when I'm lazing about the city at a concert or on a patio. I wish to create in the early mornings again, I miss being an early riser. I live with family right now and they've pulled me into their night owl routines!

5. My creative energy is activated by desire and passion. My creative energy is drained by perceived limitations and by negativity.

6. I don't use creative rituals. I engage in spiritual rituals, these replenish my creative energy.

7. Nature's renewal influences my creative energy, it reinforces to me everyday that something new is possible because it happens ALL THE TIME.

8. My biggest creative hurdle so far has been my mind. The limitations in my mind and my emotions are hurdles that I continually work to overcome.

9. These days the time of day I am most receptive to inspiration is late night. There was a time when I'd spring out of bed at 6 AM with tons on inspiring ideas and I look forward having those days once more.

Creativity and Empathy

Secret One
Acknowledging my creative self is a lot like my journey to strengthen my empathy skills. When I got to the end of the discovery I realized that my empathy was big, deep and all encompassing. Like the universe. It is so big you don't even see it. Wow! That was such an incredible learning. OK, so I forget birthdays and I'm NEVER good at saying "you look great" when I haven't seen someone in a while - actually I think that has little to do with empathy and everything to do simply with speaking the truth. Too bad it's considered a character flaw in our contemporary culture. Of course I don't tell them they look like shit I just don't say anything. But I am always beaming because it is such a wonder to see people.

I digress.

My creativity is in me and with me. It is big and all encompassing and touches every part of my life. It is big, like the universe, so big that I can't even see it.

On this journey I'll be taking off on the space shuttle of creativity to discover my creative universe and I am so so so grateful that I have this group to do it with.

Peace out.

Romana