There is something surfacing for me as we leave air and enter water - as I leave the clutter of my mind and enter my emotions. Perhaps my emotions are embodied both within my mind and my body?At a spiritual discussion last night I learned that in the Islamic tradition it is believed that our bodies will bear witness against us on the Day of Judgment. All the more reason to listen to my body, to support and cherish it, nurture it and let it converse freely with my mind rather than allowing my mind to be in control as the ruling class over my body.
Perhaps all my emotions are embodied in my body? Perhaps that is why I feed my emotions because I embody them in my body. That is a safe place to keep them. My logical mind, my linear uncluttered mind likes to keep my emotions in the body, they are distant there, in another place. And, anytime the emotions have anything to share or express, well they are suppressed with - you go it - none other than food.
Ah ha, so that's how it works for me.
If my body were to bear witness on me today what will it say?
- she has shown no compassion toward us
- when we were hurt she did not respond
- when we were stressed, heavy and tired she ignored us
- when we felt tired, lethargic and sore she didn't hear our calls
- we were enslaved to her needs only
- she does not see us as one, we feel she sees herself as "the one" and us, the body, as the annoying aspect of herself
- the paradox is if the annoying aspect is able to disappear then so will she, one cannot live without the other
- she is compassionate and heeds our call every time we reach out
- she nurtures and cherishes us and we will nurture and cherish her as we together grow old
- she respects what we bring to her life and never takes us for granted
- we support her and she support us by listening and responding and making time for our needs as we make time for her needs
- neither of us every wishes for the other to disappear
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It's a bribe.
I'm working late. I am exhausted but I have a looming deadline. My body can't take it. My mind must persist to keep the project on track.
Had I been better at scheduling my commitments with my body's needs in mind as well as my mind's needs then perhaps I would not be in this conundrum.
So what's happening then? Hard to admit but I'll tell you. My mind is bribing my body with food. Sugary sweet food. Hoping, of course that it will "shut the body up" and stop complaining.
The mind is saying, be gone with that cramp in the neck, forget about the stiff hip joints - we must persevere, we must deliver! F*** you!
Learning: Schedule my commitments around the needs of my body. If I take care of my body my mind will follow.
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